Sunday, January 30, 2011

Mean Girls and Frenemys

I know I should finish off my "5 Characters" series, buta thought bubble occurred to me and refused to leave me alone. It happened while I was watching Mean Girls.
Oh, Mean Girls. This was the movie of my classmates during high school. I think every graduating class has a specific movie that set the tone throughout their high school years. When I was a freshman, the seniors had "Napoleon Dynamite." According to my younger brother, who is a sophomore in high school, it's currently "The Hangover." But for me and my classmates, it was "Mean Girls."

What was it about this movie that resonated so deeply with my peers and me? Was it the clever one-liners that everyone quotes--"Don't have sex or you will get pregnant and DIE." "That's why her hair's so big, it's full of secrets!" Was it the ensemble cast, with Lindsay Lohan pre-rehab, Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Rachel McAdams, etc...? I don't think so. I think it was because it baldly uncovered the sad truth about so many girl's friendships.

I think that sad truth is that a heckuva lot of girls don't have friends. They have frenemies. I've also noticed, that the more 'popular' a girl is, the more true friends she loses and frenemies she's gained.

What is the difference between a frenemy and a friend? I'll elaborate.

A frenemy will tell you you look cute to your face and then talk badly about you with her other frenemies. A friend will be either honest or resolutely tell you that you look cute.

A frenemy will ditch her girls for a guy, no matter what the situation. A friend, to put it simply, will not.

A frenemy will backstab when it pleases her. A friend may be hurtful, but at least she'll do it to your face.

A frenemy will judge on looks--parties, drinking, sex, clothes and makeup will be her new priorities. A friend will judge you for who you truly are.

To a frenemy, friends are disposable. Easily replaced. To a friend, they're priceless and forever.

As I enter my twenties, it grows more and more apparent what real friendship truly is. I generally take it for granted that everyone I love are true friends and feel precisely the same way as I do--that they're irreplaceable, they're forever, and they're THERE through thick and thin. Becoming an adult has its hardships but it also gives a blindingly clear picture of has been there all along and who will continue to be there all along.

I think there are those who have been caught in the frenemy's trap. They've been influenced by girls who don't genuinely care about them but still play them false. It's like Regina George's cronies--they hate her but they desperately want her to like them.

So, please, listen to me. The Plastics aren't worth it. Frenemies aren't worth it. Look to who truly matter in your life and who truly love you--cuz as we head out into the big bad world, they're not easy to find.

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