Monday, May 23, 2011

It's the End of the World and I Want Pie

I'm a little late posting this because I've been busy (translation: really lazy) but I wanted to discuss how the rapture was supposed to occur this past Saturday.

First off, I heard about this about three days before. That's not a lot of build up. I mean, at least 2012 is giving us three years of breathless anticipation. On the social media front, the May 21st rapture was more of a collective joke than anything else. There's a few reasons I didn't take it seriously.

1. If I get raptured before I go to England, I am going to be super pissed at God and probably will give him the silent treatment.

2. I am NOT leaving this earth until I meet David Bowie.

3. My 21st birthday is in September. It is also on a Friday. Really? You'd rapture me four months before that? God would never be that cruel.

4. I won a karaoke contest last Thursday and I haven't gotten to redeem my gift certificate.

In all seriousness, this whole rapture business baffles me. There is the obvious reason that I'm not Baptist, and I don't believe in the concept anyway (sorry guys, Christians don't get a free pass, we have to suffer the end of the world just like everyone else) and then there's the Christian perspective that you can't predict the date. Jesus says pretty clearly (whether you believe in Christianity or not, bear with me, I'm going from a Christian perspective) that WE CAN'T PREDICT THE DATE. Not even the angels know. So knock it off Nostradamus, you're just going to look stupid.

I don't really take 2012 seriously either. I think the 2012 Doomsday prediction is a lot like the movie 2012--fun to think about when you're bored, but not really substantial.

People said the world was going to end in 1884. It didn't. Then the Rapture enthusiasts said it would end in 1994. It didn't. (Probably because David Bowie was touring, God was like, 'well shit, I'll need to postpone this.') People said the world would end in 2000. Here I am, eleven years later, and the world is still kicking.

But in the interest of full disclosure, I have compiled another list (I like lists :D) of things I would do if I knew the world would end the next day.

1. Watch Labyrinth.

2. Drive off aimlessly with my compadre Regan and go to that really yummy sandwich shop. She knows the one.

3. Cuddle my cat and dog.

4. Take my little brother to a Scouting for Girls concert.

5. Go to each of my girlfriends' houses, hug them, sniff their hair, and paint their respective toenails. (It's how I show my love)

6. Tweet everything I'm doing.

7. Update my blog.

8. Eat pie.

You know, this list sounds an awful lot like my Summer To-Do list. I suppose there's a lesson in that.


  1. Pie? I like pie. Hm, sniff my hair? Well I guess I'll make sure to wash my hair before you come... :D

  2. David Bowie and September Bday, same here. Can't be bothered by the rapture right now.